Google Something Clever 2.0: Hair Tinsel

Sep 16, 2011

Hair Tinsel

I want hair tinsel. I am a 32-year-old wife and mother who is not in the music industry, and I want hair tinsel. Have you seen this? I think there was a line of Barbies like this back in the 80s. It’s just a few strands of tinsel interspersed throughout your hair like extensions, and it looks cooler than Jem on acid. I’m already pulling off maroon hair pretty well, I think, so tinsel is the next logical step. I feel like if I had some silver tinsel in my hair, I could pick up a guitar and strum one chord that would send lightning bolts flying in all directions, possibly melting the faces of high school principals and uncool dads.

Now, from a very quick Google search, I’ve determined that I can make this dream a reality via two different methods. The first is to go to a salon in Las Vegas and have them applied professionally for $99. Oh, excuse me, that’s starting at $99. Or, you can buy a package of 100 strands from Amazon for around $15 and then tie them in yourself after watching a how-to video on YouTube by a teenager from the Midwest.

Call me crazy, but I think there’s a third option. Can’t I just wait a month and buy tinsel intended for Christmas trees at Wal-Mart, probably at a cost of $3.99 for 5000 strands? I feel like this is too obvious; if it was the same tinsel, there’s no way Amazon would get away with inflating the price to 200 times what it’s worth.

So can anyone tell me, is it the same tinsel? Can I really do it myself? And most importantly, am I delusional for thinking I can pull off cartoon hair when the only place I have to flaunt it is at Stop & Shop at 4:00 on a Tuesday afternoon?

****12/30/11 Update: Look what I got for Christmas!****
And yes, that is a flannel you see. That "Nevermind" post wasn't fiction, either.

Another update:

I'm getting a lot of search traffic on this post, so I figured I'd do you all a solid and answer some questions that you may have, now that I know the answers. I got Bling Strands for Christmas. I'm very happy with them. They are thinner than Christmas tinsel, and meant to withstand the abuse that you would subject hair to, like washing, blow drying, crimping (yes, I do) etc. The way they work is that you take a really long strand and fold it in half, loop it around one strand of your real hair, and knot it. They have instructions and videos on their website. You can tie it to more than one strand, like I did, if you're worried about that hair falling out and taking the tinsel with it. But, the more hair you have it tied to, the easier it is for the tinsel to slide off. I recommend just one strand of hair. And if you are a mom, and therefore live in ponytails like me, don't forget to put some on the sides and bottom of your head so you can rock their socks off at BJ's and Petco. Now, open a new tab so you can shop, then come back here and read another post. I'm more than just your tinsel adviser, you know.