For Fathers’ Day this year, I quizzed my son about my husband and made up a card with his answers. It went over really well. I was just thinking about how I don’t have an “About Me” section on this page, because I don’t know what to say, so I decided to let the boy tell you. I’ve also added my clarifications.
What do I do for fun?
Play “Draw Something.” This is absolutely true. I often have him help me guess. He’s only three, but you’d be surprised how many he gets right, or close, anyway.
What’s my favorite TV show?
“Dino Dan.” Incorrect. Dino Dan actually drives me crazy because he pronounces a lot of the dinosaurs names wrong, he’s schizophrenic, and his Canadian accent is distracting. No offense, Canada, I just think it’s weird that all kids’ shows are secretly Canadian. It’s really hard for me to pick one favorite show, since I DVR over 80, but I guess I could pick one from each genre… Comedy- “Parks and Recreation,” Drama- “Criminal Minds,” “Sci-fi- “Haven,” Reality/competiton- “America’s Got Talent” (obviously), Children’s- “The Aquabats Super Show”
What do I drink?
Coffee. Well, it’s technically true. I hate coffee, but after multiple trips to the doctor to rule out Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, hormone issues, thyroid issues and depression, it was decided that the reason I am always tired is because I am a mother. I’ve learned to tolerate caramel-flavored iced coffee- one to three a day. I also drink water and Diet Mountain Dew. I drink a shitload of wine, but rarely in front of the boy.
What do I eat?
Dinosaurs. Ouch. That is also true. I have a few recipes in my repertoire, but on poker night, when I don’t have to cook for my husband, I totally have Bagel Bites and dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets for dinner. Oh, shut up, I get the ones that are made with all white meat.
What do I like to read?
Your book you got for your birthday. That would be “Sacre Bleu” by Christopher Moore. Unfortunately, I finished it. He is my favorite writer and you should go out and get all of his books immediately, starting with “Lamb.” He writes humorous fiction, which is all I’m interested in. I also love Vonnegut, but I’ve read all his stuff and now he’s dead.
What do I wear?
The Alf shirt. That’s embarrassing. I do have a dumpy, XL Alf t-shirt. It’s about 15 years old and the screen print is peeling. I almost never wear it, I swear. Normally, I wear those $8 Mossimo t-shirts from Target that come in 20 colors. You know, the ones with the v-neck and the tiny pocket. Yeah, you know them. You have some, too.
What do I do with my friends?
You go to Tarjay. I’m not even sure if he knows that “Tarjay” means Target, but my best friend and I went there about a month ago, and she called it “Tarjay” in front of him. More often, we sit around and drink wine.
What is my favorite song?
“Thriller.” That is definitely in my top five. Anything by MJ, the Rolling Stones, Devo or the bird and the bee.
What do I do when you’re napping?
Sing. Um, not so much. I do sing a lot, though. But when he’s napping, I blog and clean the house… or nap. Hey, I work 13-hour days; I deserve a break.
What do I do when you’re in bed at night?
Work on your computer. Sometimes I do. But as you’ve probably guessed by now, that’s when the wine and 80 TV shows usually come into play.
Let me know if you want to know more about me, like my blood type or something.