Nobody in the history of humanity has ever figured out that she was pregnant because she vomited up her breakfast
Also, if this is how you're planning on telling your husband
the good news, please shut down your computer now.
If you didn’t like pickles and ice cream before, you won’t like them now
While we're on the subject, you can't eat whatever you want
Yes, you do get to eat more, because technically you are eating for two, but one of those two is the size of a walnut. If you gain 100 pounds when you're pregnant, you should not expect to give birth to a 50-pound child, 50 pounds of placenta, and go home in skinny jeans. You have to straddle a fine line of eating just the right amount- not too little, not too much.
And you have to eat right. You have to take giant smelly vitamins and your husband will make you eat your vegetables. And you wouldn't believe all the things you can't have. Lunch meat, soft cheese, sushi, swordfish, pate, smoked meats... And the things you can only have a little of, like tuna and caffeine. You may have heard that you can have a little wine. That depends on your doctor, and you will still get judged if you drink in front of anyone. I got comments for drinking soda, and I've heard similar stories from others.