Google Something Clever 2.0: Vacation, Day 2, Part 1

Jul 9, 2012

Vacation, Day 2, Part 1


The boy woke up at 6:00. Six o'clock in the damn morning. Unacceptable. I had five and half hours of sleep on a weird pillow and my neck was not well. We got him into the big bed with us for another hour or so, although it felt like 10 minutes. I forgot to pack the shower floofs. Sorry, that's our family's word for "netted sponges." What do you call them? Let me know. When is the last time you showered with a washcloth? It's so weird and wrong. It makes me feel like a caveman.


Breakfast at the hotel was amazeballs. It was a buffet today, and They. Had. Everything. I had scrambled egss, a warm cinnamon bun and watermelon. The boy had Froot Loops, scrambled eggs, bacon and a waffle. My husband had scrambled eggs, bacon, home fries, cheese danish, sausage and beans. He went back for seconds, and got more eggs, bacon and beans. He also got strawberries, because I am a nag. Vitamins are important.

We had tickets for Day Out With Thomas at Conway Scenic Railroad. This is where a real-live train, a life-sized Thomas, pulls cars, and you get to ride on them. OMFG, if you're a boy under five! Parking was a serious issue, and we had to walk about ten minutes through the most touristy area ever. The boy fell on the sidewalk, and got two epic skinned knees and a skinned foot (we're a flip-flop family). Luckily, I carry Neo-To-Go and Jolly Roger band-aids in my purse.

To be honest, the Thomas thing was not that awesome. Seeing Thomas ten feet tall was surreal, but the feeling lasted about 30 seconds. The train ride was... a train ride. The windows opened, so I started blowing bubbles out the window, and some flew back into the car. All the passengers were beyond excited about that. To reiterate, bubbles were the most exciting part of the train ride. Bubbles that I brought for free, because I carry them on me at all times. I figured out after a couple hours that attendance was free; we had paid about $90 just for the train ride. Fuck.

There was a gift shop tent, where already-overpriced Thomas toys were even more overpriced. Dude, a lighthouse was fifty bucks. I was very honest with the boy, and told him if he really wanted any of that stuff, we would get it at Toys R Us when we got home for 2/3 of the price. We ended up buying him an umbrella. He's been wanting one for months, and $12 was not unreasonable.

My favorite thing at Day Out With Thomas was the mist tent. Do you know about mist tents? Best invention ever! It's a tent that sprays mist inside. On a hot day. At an outdoor kid thing. There were two or three at Story Land yesterday, and there were two more at this thing. I don't know if they're new, or exclusive to New Hampshire, but I totally want one for my yard.

My weird kid, using an umbrella in the place 
where you're supposed to get wet

The most perplexing event was when we visited the concession car. This was like those metal boxes at carnivals that sell soft-serve and caramel apples. The boy and I were fading, so we got him some ice cream, and I got an iced coffee. I've only been drinking coffee for about a year, and I can only stand iced. Coffee is gross, and hot beverages weird me out. They offered hazelnut or French vanilla syrup. No, thank you. I drink caramel-flavored coffee. After a couple sips, I noticed that they sold caramel apples. I wondered if they'd drizzle some caramel for me. Boy, was this kid confused. Here's a summary of our conversation:

Me: I noticed you have caramel apples.... Would it be possible to get a squirt of caramel in this?
Kid: Uh, car-mle? In your coffee?
Me: Yes, please.
Kid: Like, car-mle.
Me: Yes, please.
Kid: Let me check... [Goes off to ask the boss]
[Boss arrives.]
Boss: Uh, we have hazelnut and French vanilla.
Me: Yeah, I know, I was hoping to get some caramel. Like what you put on the apples.
[Boss and kid both take off, presumably to whisper about me. Kid comes back]
Kid: Okay, um, I guess we can do it? But, like, I have to charge you?
Me: How much?
Kid: Fifty cents.
Me: Deal.
Kid: So, how much do you want? Like, a scoop?
[WTF is a scoop??]
Me: Um, a tablespoon or so would be great, thank you.


I guess there is no Starbucks in New Hampshire. What do you bet they're selling caramel iced coffee for eight bucks next weekend?

Stay tuned for Vacation, Day 2, Part 2...