Google Something Clever 2.0: Dish Network Spammed Me

Sep 5, 2012

Dish Network Spammed Me


You may have noticed that I don't get a whole lot of comments. Quit lurking, people! Anyway, I’m always really happy to see comments. Last week, after posting my AGT wrap-up, I was excited to see a comment from a new reader.

“I wish they would have a top 12 this year,” he wrote, “but they have made it the top 6, so only three acts went through. If four would have been able to be passed, Todd Oliver would definitely be in it. I was so mad that Howie didn’t vote him though.” 
Hmm, that’s weird. Anyone who’s read any of my AGT posts ( including the one he commented on) knows that I fucking hate Todd Oliver. A friend of mine likes him, and mentions that fact in the comments every week, but she always acknowledges that I hate him. It’s almost as if he didn’t read this post at all…
He continues: “I was talking to my Dish coworker about it and he was disgusted too.”
Well, that’s odd. Why would you mention where you work?
 “I was so anxious to watch the results that I turned on my PrimeTime Anytime recording this morning-”
Hey! Wait a minute!
“-while getting ready for work and watched it without commercials because I can skip them with Auto Hop now. That saved me enough time to watch the show while getting ready for work and still get there on time; an invaluable way to keep my job!”
Motherfucker!

Now, there may be people out there who really, really like their job, but nobody talks like that without incentive. But there’s no way that a huge company like Dish would stoop to the level of work-at-home scams and penis enlarging pills, right? Could this possibly be sanctioned by Dish?

Yes. Unless this guy has a lot of like-minded coworkers, who totally love their company’s product and also like to comment on blogs without reading them, then yes. You want proof? Click here, here, here, here, here, and here. Those are six other bloggers complaining about Dish employees spamming their comments. And those are just the ones that I found in five minutes of Googling. A couple of these industrious folks have gone all Nancy Drew on Dish’s ass, tracking the IP addresses and confirming that these comments are actually being posted from Dish’s offices in Colorado.

According to some lawyer guy on the last page I linked to, this is all perfectly legal.  Okay, Dish. You know what else is legal? Telling all my readers that your company is the cable TV equivalent of a Nigerian prince scheme, your marketing department is seemingly run by the racist 13-year-olds who troll YouTube comments, and you fucking suck anyway because you don’t carry AMC or IFC. That’s right, no “Breaking Bad,” no “Mad Men,” no “The Walking Dead.” Those are three of the Emmy-winningest, ratings-smashiest, audience-favoritest, critical-darlingest dramas on basic cable ever… And IFC has some good shit, too. Nobody watches “Portlandia” or “Comedy Bang! Bang!”  but me, although everyone should.

So, now you know, Dish is a bunch of bullshit. I implore you to spread the word to everyone you know (the easiest way, I think, would be to share this post). You know what, though? Despite being totally disgusted by this whole ordeal, I must say that I’m just a tiny bit flattered that Dish thinks my blog is worth spamming.