Google Something Clever 2.0: I Never Thought I'd Say...

Sep 19, 2012

I Never Thought I'd Say...

A few ridiculous things I've had to say to my son:

  • "And that’s why we don’t run in the bath."
  • "No, I don’t think Black Sabbath wrote a song about Wolverine." [Extra points if you guess why he asked.]
  • "No, you may not sit on my lap while I’m pooping."
  • "Polar bears are real. Giants are not."
  • "You can't really play rap on a harmonica."
  • "The cat will not steal your toys. She doesn't have thumbs."
  • "Don’t stab your cousin." [Don’t worry; it was a toothpick, the cousin is an adult, and it was done without malice.]
  • "I know it lights up, but a Styrofoam gravestone is just not an appropriate night light."

I know you all have your own; let's hear 'em! Comment, or better yet, email them to me at and I'll post a sequel with reader submissions. If you have a blog, let me know, and I'll link you.