A few ridiculous things I've had to say to my son:
- "And that’s why we don’t run in the bath."
- "No, I don’t think Black Sabbath wrote a song about Wolverine." [Extra points if you guess why he asked.]
- "No, you may not sit on my lap while I’m pooping."
- "Polar bears are real. Giants are not."
- "You can't really play rap on a harmonica."
- "The cat will not steal your toys. She doesn't have thumbs."
- "Don’t stab your cousin." [Don’t worry; it was a toothpick, the cousin is an adult, and it was done without malice.]
- "I know it lights up, but a Styrofoam gravestone is just not an appropriate night light."
I know you all have your own; let's hear 'em! Comment, or better yet, email them to me at Jenn@SomethingClever2point0.com and I'll post a sequel with reader submissions. If you have a blog, let me know, and I'll link you.