Google Something Clever 2.0: The Benefits of Pink Hair

Oct 8, 2012

The Benefits of Pink Hair


You may have noticed in my picture up there that I have pink hair. Yes, it’s a cartoon, but the color is accurate. There are some perks about having hair like mine that you may not have considered.

First of all, it’s really easy for my friends to spot me in a crowd. This comes in very handy if we get separated. If they need to enlist the help of a third party to search for me, they don’t need to remember what color my shirt is, or figure out my height. Just “the one with the pink hair” is enough.

People also remember me very easily. If you've seen me once in the last year or so, you’ll recognize me every time you see me. Since I’m not a dick to retail workers, this means that they remember me as “that nice lady with the pink hair,” and are nice to me next time they see me. There are two different cart wranglers at my local grocery store who, when they spot my son and me in the parking lot, will dig through all the carts to grab us one of those awful car carts that my son likes without us even asking.

Ever find a hair in your food? It’s pretty disgusting, and even if it’s the same length and color as yours, you can never be sure. Not me. If I find a pink hair in my food, I know it’s mine, and I can just pull it out and keep eating without wondering (or dry-heaving).

Lastly, it keeps me safe from serial killers. Seriously, hear me out. Have you ever watched “Criminal Minds”? Serial killers always have a type that they’re looking for (usually someone who looks like their mother). Sometimes the lady cops on other shows have to go under cover as a bait to draw the killer out, and nine times out of ten, they put on a blonde wig. Pink hair is never the type the killer is looking for. So I can breathe easy.

If you're on the fence about coloring you hair, I hope this makes your decision easier. Really, the only down side is that I have to use a dedicated hair towel (and red pillowcases).