Google Something Clever 2.0: Ouch! My Blog Hurts.

Nov 20, 2012

Ouch! My Blog Hurts.


So, you’ve decided to start a blog. Good for you! It’s fun. But beware of these common maladies that afflict the modern blogger:


Blogover

This is when you stay up until 3:00 in the morning writing, because it’s your only opportunity for “me time,” and you feel like shit the next day. And you didn’t even get drunk!

Systemic platform failure

When you put too much time and effort into one platform (your blog posts, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to the detriment of the others. It’s tough to entertain on every level all the time.

Blogger’s schizophrenia

When your blog, Facebook page, Twitter handle and the name you comment under are all slightly different, and nobody knows who you are.

Irritable Spouse Disorder

When your spouse “just doesn’t get it” and give you shit for being on your smartphone all the time.

Delusions of followers

When you're all excited about suddenly get 20 new Twitter followers in an hour, and you don’t realize that they’re all just bots trying to sell you something.

Bloated inbox

When you comment on a big-time blogger’s post and subscribe to the comments, hoping that they write back to you. The next time you check your email (approximately one hour later), you will have 139 messages. None will be for you.

Parental Attention Deficit Disorder

What your kids do to your house while you’re busy trying to write.

Blogger’s wrist

This is exactly the same as carpal tunnel syndrome, only there’s no worker’s comp.

Blogger's Cramp

Children.