Recently, I told you that I hate Christmas music. But that’s not entirely true. There are a few songs I like. Perhaps you have a bummer like me in your family who will be celebrating Christmas at your house, and you need to know what songs to play so that they don’t flip out and throw your tree out the front door. I’ve got you covered. People who hate Christmas music will usually make exceptions for songs that are performed by their favorite artists. Personally, I also like to throw in a few melancholy songs so that I can properly wallow in my Christmas-hating. Many of these songs fulfill both requirements at once. Here’s the Clever Family’s Christmas playlist:
Dude, it’s Wham! That’s hilarious. You can put on your own little show where you sing along and over-emote every lyric. Fun.
I’m not sure how well-know this song is. Maybe it’s just a local hit in Massachusetts. I hope you know it. It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it’s fun to shout random lines from it in Target and see who “gets it.” I do that a little too often.
It’s a Run-DMC song that happens to have sleigh bells in it. Rad.
I will listen to anything these people put out, even the theme song for a god-awful sitcom starring a transvestite donkey witch.
I don’t really need to do any selling for this one, right?
Classic and a complete downer. It makes me want to lie on top of a doghouse and contemplate the meaning of life.
Stevie is the happiest guy in the world. I have never seen him not smiling. If he can’t make you wiggle your butt a little bit while you’re basting that turkey, I’m afraid there’s no hope for you.
I’m not a huge Pretenders fan, but they are really good at being depressing. This song is a great example. I guarantee you’ll heave a deep, satisfying sigh before Chrissy even starts singing.
Don’t pretend you didn’t love that brief resurgence of swing music in the late 90s. Shh, it’s okay. We all did.
Is there anything that I missed? Let me know in the comments. I should warn you up front that if it's a country song, or anything by Mariah Carey, you are dead wrong.
*Yes, The Smashing Pumpkins. They’re not talking about vandalism; they’re talking about gourds that a British person really likes.