Google Something Clever 2.0: 10 Ways My Husband is Dumber Than Our Dog

Jan 22, 2013

10 Ways My Husband is Dumber Than Our Dog

Psych. My husband is not dumb, and we don't have a dog.

But you fell for it, didn't you? Unless you're a regular reader, I bet you thought that this was one of those cutesy, half-kidding husband-bashing blog posts, didn't you? Because they are everywhere lately. "How to Trick Your Husband Into Buying You Jewelry." "Top Seventeen Things Stupid Men Do." Do all these bloggers really hate their husbands that much?

I could take some cheap shots at the person I love most, too, but treating him fairly is more important to me than being an SEO-whore and trading in his dignity for the sake of a few pageviews. 

I know there are some women out there who have shitty husbands. Some of them use their blogs as a place to vent. That's fine, and I wish them nothing but the best. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the ones who constantly make their husband the foil of every "joke" on their blog, when in reality, he's a great guy and they're very much in love.

You there. You're a shitty wife.

I don't care if you're kidding. The joke has been done to death, and it's no longer funny. After a certain point, it's just disrespectful. You're no better than those corny household cleaning product ads that make men out to be one step above neanderthals. And I bet you're the same ones who turn around and complain that all those products are marketed exclusively to women.

Would we all love Jason Good as much if he talked shit about Lindsay in every other post? Of course not; that would be unacceptable. So why is it okay for you to do it to your spouse?

I'm not saying that I can't appreciate a little good-natured ribbing on occasion. I don't want you to turn your blog into a sappy love letter to your husband. God, no. That's just gross. But just remember, all we know about your husband is what you tell us. And if you're constantly making him out to be a jackass, how do you think we see you?