Google Something Clever 2.0: My Son is Hilarious

Feb 6, 2013

My Son is Hilarious

If you read my Facebook page, you might know that my son is really funny. Like, the funniest person I know. Unfortunately, I don't have a zillion dollars to pay for every post to be promoted, so you may have missed some...

Last Thursday was his birthday. My husband took the day off from work, and I took the day off from blogging. The boy was in rare form, so I thought I'd share some of his hijinks with you.

First, we went out for breakfast. We went to a diner we'd visited once before, and sat in a different section than last time. He declared it to be "the birthday room," and the other section, "the not birthday room."

Next, we visited the New England Aquarium. We were overlooking the big tank, pointing out sea turtles and such, when the boy observed, "They have humans here!"

The elusive human in its natural habitat

Next, we went to the seal show, and he sat at the end of a bench filled with Kindergarteners on a field trip. He tried to teach them the lyrics to "Blitzkreig Bop" by The Ramones.

Later, he got to pat a shark in the touch tank. I asked him what it felt like. He said, "It felt like a goldfish." Duh.

Yes, he is wearing a necktie with a t-shirt. Because he's awesome.

We went to lunch at Friendly's. When the waitress came to take his order, he said he'd like "No pickles." Not "a hot dog with no pickles," or anything, just, "No pickles."

A family passed our table on the way out, and the girls were wearing Paul Frank boots with Julius on them. I pointed them out, and he called out to them, "Thank you, ladies!" For what? "For wearing them boots." Of course.

His straw had a really long bendy part, so you can curl it around all crazy-like. He noted that it looked like "an octopus testicle." Loudly. And then we made him repeat it three times.

We went to Toys R Us to spend the three-dollar gift card he received in the mail, courtesy of Geoffrey's Birthday Club. He ran around like it was a Supermarket Sweep and picked out about $50 worth of toys. Well played, Toys R Us. After half an hour or so, he announced, "Alright guys, we need to leave, because I have like 20 things." At least he knows his limits. We talked him down to a pair of binoculars and a stuffed zombie that he named Sheila.

Pictured: Sheila. Isn't s/he cute?

On the way to dinner, he assured us that "Today, I'll do manners." Oh, good. We went to a hibachi restaurant. He enjoyed his "leaf soup" and had fun passing a carrot back and forth with chopsticks. The chef had this little plastic boy that "pees" water when you pull his pants down. The boy kept interrupting the show to yell, "Chef, can I play with your pee guy? Chef, how do you say 'yum' in Japanese?"

Those are just the quotes I remembered to email myself. This kid is a riot. If you want to hear more from him, be sure to like me on Facebook and check off "Show in news feed," because Mark Zuckerberg is a greedy bastard.