Google Something Clever 2.0: The "Star Wars" Experiment: Episode I (in which we watch "Episode IV")

Mar 8, 2013

The "Star Wars" Experiment: Episode I (in which we watch "Episode IV")

Please be sure to read the prologue before reading this post. And, if you haven't seen all of the movies in their entirety, please go do that. Also, you make me sad-face.

Okay, here we go. We watched "Episode IV: A New Hope" with the cousin. 

  • Her first comment: "I wish I knew what R2 was saying." You and me both, sister. We can assume about 85%, but you gotta wonder if there are some swear-words peppered in there.

  • The epiphany: "What if C3PO's just a giant douche? What if R2 does deserve they way he's talking to him?" Good point. Most of us have grown up with Threepio, and learned to love him as a well-meaning, uppity bitch. But think about it. If you knew him in real life, how long would you put up with that shit?

  • Threepio drops his line, "Thank the Maker!" My husband and I cast excited sideways glances at each other. She doesn't know!

  • On light sabers: "It's a laser. Why doesn't it cauterize the wound?" Hmm. True, true. My explanation: "It's not a laser! It's a light saber!"

  • The "remastered" scene where Han is talking to a weird, green, cartoon Jabba comes up. Instantly, young padawan says, "So this is why everyone hates George Lucas." The force is strong with this one.

  • Obi-Wan delivers his famous line, "That's no moon; it's a space station." What does a human who has lived in America with a television all her life say? "There are people who don't know what the Death Star is??"
People. This is why you need to guide your younglings in the ways of the Force. Do not let the Dark Side seduce them. To do so is to bring about wonky ideas. 

Stay tuned for Episode II (in which we watch "Episode V")!