Google Something Clever 2.0: Anniversary Extravaganza

Jun 12, 2013

Anniversary Extravaganza

Just a quick post to let you know why I've been neglecting you...

Tuesday was my wedding anniversary. And we celebrated for two days! We typically go on two date nights a year, so having two back to back was crazy. And it was very evident that I forgot how to behave in polite society.

On Monday, my husband and I had plans to go to a local food and beer festival. Then it rained. We already secured a babysitter, so we didn't want to waste the night. You may already know this if you follow me on Facebook, but I nixed the idea of dinner at The Melting Pot because I'll be damned if I'm going to pay someone $20 or $30 for the privilege of cooking my own entree.

We ended up going to Papa Razzi for dinner, which is like an upscale Olive Garden. I mispronounced the name of the wine I ordered, and then became so consumed with embarrassment that I forgot how my mouth works and dribbled water onto the table.

We did go to The Melting Pot for dessert. If you're not familiar, The Melting Pot is a fondue restaurant. Our dessert was a pot of boiling chocolate.

We both ordered coffee drinks, which didn't work, and we got home at 10:30, feeling old and lame. Then, of course, I got my second wind when my husband went to sleep. Being nocturnal sucks.

On Tuesday, we went to my favorite tapas restaurant, and planned to see a movie afterwards. I wear contacts sometimes, but I have really dry eyes, so I thought ahead and brought my glasses to change into after dinner. By the time we got to the restaurant, my left eye was already driving me crazy. I went to the bathroom and took out just the left contact. My husband tried to convince me to just take both out and put on my glasses, but I'm vain, so I declined.

The food and sangria were awesome, but I got full really fast. I barely had enough food to qualify as a lunch. My husband and the waiter insisted that I at least kill the pitcher. With one glass to go, I'm feeling a little... challenged. And I'm getting tired of only being able to see out of one eye. I went back into the bathroom and ditched the other contact, put on my glasses, and instantly felt like I'd removed the last two glasses of sangria from my liver. Duh. I wasn't drunk; I just felt like I was because everything on my left was blurry. And I'm sure the high heels (that I only wear once a year) weren't helping.

I finished the sangria and had my food wrapped up. Then we headed to the movie theater. We were early, so we wasted some time at Barnes & Noble. We got coffee at nine o'clock at night because we're not smart, and we bought a couple of books for the boy ("Where the Sidewalk Ends" and some Wolverine book, if you were wondering). Does anyone else feel uncomfortable admitting to the cashier at Barnes & Noble that you don't want to buy a membership to their club because you don't read enough to make it worth your money? I used to read a lot; I just don't have time anymore. I'm not uncultured, I swear!

So then we saw "This is the End." Oops. That doesn't exactly prove my point, does it? Well, I go to the movies even less often than I buy books, so there. This movie was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know you like to laugh, and I'm not being very helpful with that this week, so I highly recommend that you go see it. Seriously, there is a joke every 20 seconds for the entire length of the movie. It's sheer perfection, if you like dick jokes. And the soundtrack is brilliant. I can't say enough good things about it! Please go see it immediately, and then you and I can tweet about how great Michael Cera was. You'll see.