You know how sometimes, you come across a new blog, read one post, love it, then binge-read the whole blog and subscribe immediately? Or maybe that's not a thing, but it's happened to me a couple of times. Anyway, the point is, that's what happened about a year ago, when I read "Tip for Tuesday – I wouldn’t try this at home…or anywhere really." by One Classy Motha. In it, Kim tries to flatten chicken breasts by running them over with her car. Seriously. How could I not fall in love?
I think that's about to happen you to right now, with this guest post she wrote for me:
Now that the kids are back in school, I finally have some time to focus on my favorite hobby, Craigslisting.
As a creative writer with a flair for the ridiculous (recent feedback includes: “There’s something seriously wrong with you.” & “Maybe it’s time to up your meds?”), I often find inspiration while drinking coffee/wine in my king sized bed and reading some of the crazy ass things people post on Craigslist. I just love it! They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me say, “Whaaat…the…hell? BRIAN! BRIAN! GET IN HERE, YOU GOTTA READ THIS ONE!”
Here are a couple of my recent favorites:
I hate to be all take, take, take, so sometimes I like to write my own inspiring ads, hoping to give back to the screwed up community that’s given me so much.
Here’s one I did earlier this week, I call it “Ode to a Missed Connection”. It’s loosely based on every man in every bar located next to a laundromat.
Posted: 2013-08-26, 11:03AM PDT
I LOVE EATING TACOS…and you love dressing like one – m4w – 36 (LA)
I was the guy in the dark green pickup truck with the barking dog hanging out of the window. When I yelled, “Knock it off, Shitty!” you looked over and our eyes met through the holes in your shell. I felt a powerful connection. You must have felt it too because you waved in my general direction and pointed to the restaurant like you wanted me to meet you there. I would have pulled over but Shitty was late for his anal gland surgery and those appointments are hard to get.
I don’t know about you, but I believe that fate brought us together that day. How else can you explain the fact that I love eating tacos and you like standing on street corners dressed like one?
If you’re a woman, I’d like to take you on a date and introduce you to Shitty, he’s a really nice dog as long as you’re holding food. But if you’re a dude, we can be friends and eat Mexican together- but nothing more. Either way, I hope you like nachos too.
If you see this, please reply back with the color of my truck so that I know it’s really you and not someone who just wants free Mexican food.
You can email me at Tdinkleberry3(at)gmail(dot)com
- Location: LA
- it’s ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
- OK to contact me about appearing in CL documentary series
Posting ID: 4026986828
Posted: 2013-08-26, 11:03AM PDT
Updated: 2013-08-26, 11:07AM PDT
And the most rewarding part, I get replies! I have readers!
I’m not, but thanks for writing, McAbee! Hmm, McAbee…is that Scottish?
Aww, Stacie! What a sweetheart! But I’m concerned that you took this ad too seriously. like really concerned.
Yesterday, my son came home from school and handed me a paper asking if I’d like to be a homeroom mom this year. According to the “Description of Duties” section, the position involves time- time in the classroom, time contacting parents, time organizing activities…basically time spent away from my writing, or as I call it “word artistry”. Umm, why do you think I send them to school? jeez. Needless to say, I politely declined. Besides, I’m currently working on an emotional Craigslist piece titled “LOST!!!! Brown Squirrel- goes by the name Ricky” and I can’t afford any distractions.
Kim is a SAHM who spends her days trying to outwit her children, and her evenings sipping wine in her king sized bed while offering bad advice, ridiculous tips, and embarrassing family stories on her blog, One Classy Motha! You can also find her posting inappropriate things on Pinterest and Twitter @mothakim …but she usually keeps it classy for Facebook (her mother “Friended” her).