I'm going to tell you three little stories, and you can guess in the comments which one is the lie. I'll reveal the answer tomorrow on Facebook, so if you don't already like my page, get on that!
I'm morally opposed to service animalsPolice dogs. Helper monkeys. Horse-drawn carriages. I'm not a fan. As you all know, I love animals, and I don't think it's fair that some of them have to work for a living, while others sit around in the lap of luxury, like Garfield. It's not cool. And did you know that you're not even allowed to interact with "working" dogs at all? You can't tell a seeing-eye dog that he's a good boy, or make a kissy sound at the German Shepard who's sniffing your suitcase when you go through customs. I learned that last one the hard way.
I play the ukuleleI actually taught myself. Israel Kamakawiwo'ole had just come out with that hauntingly beautiful cover of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," and I was at a flea market with my husband when I spotted a used ukulele for only five bucks! I already knew how to play guitar and bass, so I figured I could just Google a bit and figure it out myself. I taught myself "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and a few other songs. Then, ukuleles became the cool new thing for hipsters and girls who think they're Zooey Deschanel, so I got a little disheartened. I haven't actually picked it up in a couple of years now. Stupid hipsters.
I can't swimI've tried to learn so many times. When I was little, I went to day camp. They had swimming lessons. At the end of the first lesson, we were supposed to put our faces in the water. I was afraid to, so the instructor grabbed my head and held it under water. I was scarred for life. I've had two more traumatic experiences since then (although not nearly as bad). Now I'm in my thirties, and I can't even float. The funny part is, I love the water. But only if I can touch the bottom, or if I'm wearing a life jacket.
Did you spot the lie? I'll be revealing it on my Facebook page at noon Eastern tomorrow, so be sure to like my page, then hover over the Like button and choose "Show in News Feed." If you don't, you'll totally be living in a world of confusion forever, and it'll haunt you, man.