Google Something Clever 2.0: How to Watch Fall TV in 16 Easy Steps

Sep 26, 2013

How to Watch Fall TV in 16 Easy Steps

It is without one tiny bit of hyperbole that I tell you now: I am a TV-watching expert. Ask anyone. From the people who call me, asking if I still have last week's "Breaking Bad" on the DVR (no, but I can recover it for you), to the ones who Facebook me asking who I think should have won "America's Got Talent" (Taylor was my favorite, but he'll get by; Kenichi needed the win more), to those who text me trivia questions ("'Game of Thrones' actor Dinklage?" Duh, Peter, and I don't even watch that show). Everyone knows that I. Am. The. Best.

So, with that in mind, it should come as no surprise that I have the fall premiere season down to a science. Wondering what you should watch this year? I got you. Let's do this.

If you want to be just like me when you grow up, the first thing you need to do is watch all of the fall preview shows. Most of the major networks air a program in August showcasing their new series. They're usually on at super weird times, but you can catch them all On Demand. Take notes. Lots of notes.

Yes, I have shitty penmanship. Deal with it.

Next, you're going to need your Entertainment Weekly Fall TV Preview issue. I assume you subscribe already. No? And you claim to love TV? Fine, just go buy that issue. Moving on!

The Preview is broken up by days of the week. You'll be doing a lot of flipping back and forth, so be sure to mark each day of the week with a Post-It flag for easy access.

Highlight every show you're interested in, even if it sounds kind of dumb. A lot of dumb-sounding shows turn out to be the Best Thing Ever (example: anything and everything Bryan Fuller has ever created). Don't forget to circle the premiere date! You'll need that info later!

Now, pull up Excel and make six spreadsheets (nothing is on Saturdays, except "Saturday Night Live"). Map out when all of your shows are on. If you have two DVRs, designate a color for each one. Next, go into your current series recordings on the DVR. Make sure you're not missing anything. If there's a series that wasn't represented in EW, Google the title plus "cancelled." No findings? Google the title plus "premiere date." If you know the season they're on, add that, too. Got it? Okay, add it to your spreadsheet.

Ahaha you thought I could live on only one DVR??

Shows that are already scheduled on the DVR are should be represented on the spreadsheet in black; shows that you've yet to schedule should be red. Now, sit down with your remote and schedule all the red shows. If a show's premiere date is more than two weeks out, and therefore can't be scheduled yet, note the premiere date on the spreadsheet. Now, go into your phone and set reminders in your calendar to record all those red shows once the premiere date is close enough to allow you to do so.

And there you have it! It really couldn't be more simple.