Yes, I know that we still have Thanksgiving to get through, but I don't really care about Thanksgiving. No costumes, no candy, no presents... What kind of holiday are you, anyway? Not my kind, that's for damn sure.
What I WroteEverybody loves those "if I knew then what I know now" type of articles, right? The ones where veteran parents share their wisdom with new parents, and really, the only people who read it are other veteran parents, who nod their heads and say "Girl, you know that's right." Yeah, I wrote one of those In the Powder Room. Now, I'm not telling you to "cherish every little moment" or any of that garbage; I'm just saying, don't be in a rush for your baby to hit all those milestones, because they're not as awesome as they seem. Impatient baby mamas, slow your roll
Have you see these new silly little cars called Fiats? They have them in America now, I guess. Unfortunately, Fiat apparently neglected to hire an America advertising agency (or if they did, it was the firm from "Mad Men"), because their ads are... Um, how you say, sexist and offensive. Check them out, won't you? Seriously, Fiat??
Reality check: just because you wish for something really, really hard, it doesn't mean it will come true. Even if you ask nicely. Even if you cross your fingers and toes. Even if you create a Change.org petition and get 100,000 people to sign it. A petition is not a magic wand; sorry. I've rounded up a few of the most ridiculous ones for you here. Enough With the Freakin' Petitions, Already!
What I ReadI like the concept of the ice cream truck, don't you? A store that shows up right outside your house every day, heralding its arrival with a jaunty tune... But do they have to pack it in come fall? And can they please sell something a little more useful than Powerpuff Girl frozen novelties? Kim from Let Me Start By Saying is In the Powder Room with some stellar ideas for a truck I'd love to see.
Amber from Crappy Pictures has some highfalutin sons. These kids got invited to the party of the century and they said no! Amber wishes she was invited. I wish I was invited. And you will, too.
Do you have kids? Would you enjoy reading something that makes you say, "No way! Me too! She totally gets me!" Julie from I Like Beer and Babies gets you, dude. Read that post, and then, carve out a few quiet minutes away from your kids (ha!) to check out her new... Um, I'm not sure what it's called. It's like a TV show, but it's on the internet, and all the episodes are under three minutes long. Web series? Is that what those are called? Anyway. Julie makes funny videos on the internet now, and you should watch them all because they are wonderful and short. We parents need our entertainment in small packages. She gets that.
Tweets I Enjoyed
I just chased a Ghirardelli dark chocolate square with a glass of red wine. Healthy quota for the week: Achieved. #dontjudgeme
— Mommy Needs Martinis (@MommysMartinis) November 14, 2013
Just ordered Ferris a pair of mittens from Amazon pictured gray but described navy. It's thrilling! This is as close to gambling as I get.
— Beth (@verybloggybeth) November 13, 2013
Rules of time out say it can be cut short if Mommy needs the child to fetch her coffee that's way over there.
— Amy or Mom (@FunnyIsFamily) November 14, 2013
did you know that ibuprofen numbs the tongue when chewed accidentally whilst not paying attention as one crams trail mix down their throat?
— Molly Field GrassOil (@MollyFieldTweet) November 14, 2013
And now I'm off to hang up the stupid Christmas lights. No, I am not one of those nuts who turns them on before Black Friday. I just don't want to climb on my roof when it's 20 degrees out. Friggin' winter!