Halloween is over, and so you have me back. I know you were totally counting the number of blog posts, tweets and status updates I've been posting, and you were super sad about the decline during October. Rest assured, that's over now. You have my full attention.
Or most of it, anyway. I may or may not still have a skull and a few pumpkins in my yard. And, oh, another thing, my best friend's getting marrrrrriiiiiiiied! I apologize to all of you who follow me on Pinterest for the crazy amount of kelly green bridesmaid dresses I've been pinning. I am going to Leslie Knope the shit out of this wedding. I think I might be more excited for hers than I was for my own, because I've learned a lot since then. But if you have any words of wisdom for the bride, or the maid of honor (not matron, thank you), we'd love to hear them.
What I Wrote
I apologized for my absence and showed you some of my Halloween extravaganza. Want to virtually walk through my yard? It's possible, thanks to technology! Say I'm spooktacular. Say it. I'm the Halloqueen
My son is fucking four. Those of you who've raised a kid past four know what I'm talking about. I love love love him, but there are times when I don't particularly like him, you know what I mean? I can't wait for him to grow up and read Tell me it gets better In the Powder Room.
I don't care if it's November, I've still got zombies on the brain (ha). I took a good, long look at myself, and realized that I'm pretty damn useless without a computer. I hope someone will take pity on me when the walkers come... And make no mistake, they will come. Would You Have Me on Your Zombie Apocalypse Team?
What I Read
In this short but sweet post (with pics!) Amy from Funny is Family is cruel to her son, and it's awesome. Maybe I didn't phrase that right. Let me try again. Amy is super mean to her kid, and it's fucking funny as hell! Is that better?
Growing up, I was very thin. I was not anorexic, but I got called anorexic, as if that's an analogue for "thin," on almost a daily basis. Guess what. That is just as rude as calling someone fat. I've been struggling with how to write about it for months without making people hate me. Now, I might as well give up, because Dani from Suburbia Interrupted just did a damn fine job of it herself. The takeaway? No matter what someone weighs, it is not okay to comment on it. Got it?
Remember last week, when I wrote about the zombies taking over my local farm on In the Powder Room? Here's how you know that I was barely exaggerating: Bethany, my ITPR colleague and co-New Englander (yes, that's a thing now, shut up) backs me up. Only in Vermont, they're not zombies; they're zealots. Tomato/tomahto. No matter how you slice it, New England is pretty terrifying in the fall. So please stay the fuck out and just peep our leaves on Pinterest and Instagram. kthx
Joy from Comfytown Chronicles guest posted for The Life I Live this week. Have you heard about these little mini free libraries people are setting up? It's a box on the street, full of books. And you're supposed to treat it as sort of a hybrid between a library and a "Take a penny, leave a penny" tray. Make sense? Watch what happens when Joy trolls her neighborhood with some, uh, interesting variations on that model.
Tweets I Enjoyed
I feel like it should be obvious not to use speakerphone on the bus. I'm looking at you, Julie who is making chicken for dinner.
— SnuggleMummy (@NinsMum) November 5, 2013
My husband just said "Portland is where 20-year-olds go to retire". I knew there was a reason I love him.
— Crazy Like A Fox (@StephenAtWar) November 6, 2013
I just saw a commercial for ZzzQuil. So sizzurp is legal now too?
— Joy Farah Fowler (@ComfyTownChroni) November 6, 2013
Let's order pizza. I was shopping all day long (online, for myself).
— Peyton Price (@Suburbanhaiku) November 8, 2013
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to plan a sophisticated bachelorette party for grown-ass ladies. And maybe make a tiara out of little rubber penises. Maybe.