Google Something Clever 2.0: I'm the Halloqueen

Nov 4, 2013

I'm the Halloqueen

My husband came up with that word. I like it. I am pretty bananas for Halloween, which is why you haven't been seeing much of me lately. It's over now, so I'm going to try to get back to writing more, but I thought I'd explain to you what I've been up to lately that's kept me from entertaining you.

Here we have the costumes I worked on for about two months for my husband and myself. We're Pyramid Head and Bubble Head Nurse from "Silent Hill." His muscles and my dress are store-bought, but I stained my dress with tea and did some "dirt" and "blood" painting on both (which you can't really see).

I made his helmet out of cardboard, window screen, and some odds and ends from Home Depot. I sealed all the seams with caulk, and used a textured spray paint to make it look like metal. His Great Knife is a wooden mop handle and cardboard. I sewed the pleather skirt and made stilts out of buckets.

My mask is made out of liquid latex, gauze, toilet paper, cotton batting, pantyhose and acrylic paint. I built it on a styrofoam wig head. I couldn't see or hear very well, but it was worth it. We won the Best Couple or Group honors.

I also worked all week to make a walk-through graveyard in my back yard for the trick-or-treaters. We live near the end of a dead-end street, so we only got about five groups. I was really disappointed by that. I think next year, I'm going to make some signs and put them up around the neighborhood to encourage more visitors. The kids that did go through really enjoyed it, and two groups even came back and asked to go through again! So I'd say it was a success.

There were a couple graves that were supposed to be moving, like a zombie was trying to break through, and they didn't work out so well. I'll have to do some experimenting with that for next year. I got up early on November first and hit the clearance sales, so next year we'll have more zombies and strobe lights. Here's a quick tour; imagine this, but better...

I don't know if you can tell, but it was drizzling on and off. Which means that we couldn't light the fire bowl, and we had to put patio umbrellas and tarps over a few of the zombies. So that kind of sucked. We also couldn't do this other idea i had, where the bulkhead was going to be propped open a little bit, with green light and fog coming out of it. Bummer. But it's getting better every year here in New England. Halloween 2011 was ruined by a freak blizzard that had us without power for almost a week, 2012 was wrecked by Hurricane Sandy, and in 2013, all it did was rain on and off all damn day. I'm thinking next year will be okay. Maybe a little fog. I wouldn't mind fog.

Finally, on Saturday, we hosted a party for the kids. And I mean, like, all the kids. We had a total of 11 little ones ages 3-6 in the basement, playing games and turning all Lord of Flies on me. Upstairs, there were 13 adults and five one-year-olds.

I got lazy with the food and bought pre-made fruit and veggie platters at BJ's, and ordered a few pizzas. I asked someone to bring dessert, and somehow, everyone brought dessert. Or at least five families. We didn't get too many pics, but here's one showing what happened after the mummy-wrapping contest devolved into a free-for-all of children throwing toilet paper everywhere. They literally knocked me down, tied me up, and stuffed T.P. in my mouth while chanting "You're a toilet!" But I still love those little monsters.

Oh, and if you're trying to figure out what the hell I'm wearing, it's an R2-D2 tank top and matching socks, with a black skirt. The boy went against the family tradition of being something awesome and original and home made, and chose to be Boba Fett. So I wore that to match him, and my husband wore a Darth Vader t-shirt and mask. We're awesome parents like that.

So that's why I've been neglecting you guys. I'm sorry. It won't happen again... For another year, anyway.