Google Something Clever 2.0: A Guide to Ninja Shopping Cart Skills

Mar 25, 2014

A Guide to Ninja Shopping Cart Skills

This one is for the parents that do the grocery shopping. In my house, that's me. I remember the first time I took my son shopping, when he was just weeks old. I had to make the hard decision of whether to figure out how to secure his bucket car seat to the cart, or use the built-in seat, which was teeming with E-coli and who knows what else.

No, I'm not going to tell you which one I chose. That's something every parent has to figure out on their own.


Fast forward five years. He's too cool to ride in the cart now. Even the car cart! So I have to somehow mind him while simultaneously pushing a cart. Something about me that you may not know: I only have two hands. And so it came to be that the first time I let him shop sans cart, he was running amok in the meat department, greeting strangers and dancing, and he almost ran smack into some lady. She didn't mind at all, because he is adorable, but I did hear a man nearby mumble something about "... mother's resposibility to watch..." blah blah blah.

Can you believe I didn't run him over with my cart? Where's my medal, people?

Two things occurred to me that day:
  1. Some people are real dicks when they're hungry.
  2. Parents sure do have to learn a lot of crazy skills that they never tell you about.
And so I present to you, the shopping parent, A Guide to Ninja Shopping Cart Skills, on NickMom. Enjoy!



Don't rely on Facebook to show you all my posts! They'll only show you everything if I pay them. Spoiler alert: that's not happening. The only way to guarantee that you never miss a thing is to subscribe. Drop your address below and you'll get an email whenever I post something new. No spam. No ads. Promise.