You WON'T BELIEVE the JAW-DROPPING reaction this writer has when she reads Upworthy headlines:
She rolls her eyes, and then she clicks the little arrow thing to tell Facebook that she doesn't want to see them. Oh, maybe you would believe that. Because that's a completely normal reaction.
Or are you on Team Upworthy? Does your HEART ABSOLUTELY MELT when you see that dog greeting his master as he returns from war? Can you NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES when some guy pretends to be homeless and then people treat him like he's homeless or whatever? Well, I guess I'm happy for you. It's nice that you're entertained by some silly little viral thing on the internet.
May I suggest a different silly little internet thing to entertain you? One that's not yet viral, but could be, with your help? Why not pop over to NickMom and read my latest endeavor, "Your Face Will Laugh When You Read These Totally Fake Upworthy Headlines for Parents"? I promise not to BLOW YOUR MIND RIGHT OUT THE GOD DAMNED WINDOW. Because that's just irresponsible.