Google Something Clever 2.0: October 2014

Oct 29, 2014

Let’s Put an End to the Board Game Movie Trend Right Now

Confession: I just saw Clue for the first time a few months ago. And you know what? It was pretty funny. But that's where board game-inspired movies should have stopped. Quit while you're ahead, you know?

But noooo, they had to go and make Battleship, where all the little red pegs were replaced with Rihanna and Liam Neeson. (Man, that guy is in everything. He's like the white Samuel L. Jackson.)

And now there's Ouija. A movie about a board game that's barely a board game. It's just an excuse for that one pathological liar friend of yours to make you scared of the dark. Come on, now. What could they possibly come up with next?

Nothing, that's what. Because I've come up with ideas for every conceivable future board game movie, and published them over at NickMom. I even cast them. Now, if Hollywood wants to make another, they'll have to buy the rights from me. You're welcome, America. Go check out my posters.


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Oct 15, 2014

Two Funny Mothas

I think I've officially "made it," you guys. I'm being interviewed about how funny and interesting and pretty I am.

Okay, maybe just the first one. Maybe not even that.

Do you know Stacey from One Funny Motha? Of course you do. Well, I know her personally. We met, as so many cosmopolitan women do, in the dining car of a train, where we shared laughs over plastic cups of wine. I compared her to Carrie Heffernan from King of Queens. I meant it as very high praise, and she was quite gracious about it.

It wasn't a chance meeting; we "knew" each other via the internet, and we were both travelling to Blog U in Maryland. I hopped on the Amtrak in Boston (seven hours, people), and she joined up in New York. We discovered in real time on Facebook that we were on the same train, and made a wine date.

There is not much room for a wine date on an Amtrak dining car, FYI. Particularly when all the seats are taken, so you're forced to hug the wall, and chat over a recycling bin. I'm lucky I get to sail two days a year, so I'm pretty awesome at standing up on a moving vehicle.

Well, apparently the length of time it takes to chug a Solo cup of Pinot Grigio wasn't enough Jenn for her, so she's back for more. Click over to One Funny Motha to learn all about what makes me tick (hint: it's mostly Pinot Grigio).

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Oct 10, 2014

To the Cub Scout at My Door

I was caught off guard when you arrived at my door today. We weren’t expecting company, and we certainly weren’t expecting a pint-sized Cub Scout peddling snacks. But there you were.

You asked me if I’d like to buy some popcorn “to support scouting,” and I found myself at a loss for words (a rare occurrence). I looked at your hopeful little face, and your mom’s, and then mumbled, “Oh… No. No thank you.” You were both very gracious about being turned down.

I wish I could have explained to you why I didn’t want to buy any. It wasn’t about you. And it wasn’t about the popcorn.


Oct 6, 2014

Is It OK to Interrupt Mom's Shower? A Primer for Children

Have you missed me? I'm sorry I haven't been writing much lately, but I've been really busy with my best friend's wedding, Halloween, and fostering two cats in addition to my two cats and frog.

Yeah. Lots of stuff. But the wedding is over now, and the cats will be moving back home this weekend, so I'm ready to start entertaining you again. Let's start with something short and sweet on NickMom that I wrote in the shower while my kid was banging on the door to tell me something super important about Legos or whatever:


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